Dear Aunt Noor,

I am a 45 years old man. I am married and I have two wives. Both my wives live in a different house and they never meet each other. I respect their point of view for not wanting to see each other. The problem is with my kids from both wives. They rarely meet each other and when they do, they don’t treat each other like brothers. You don’t know how bad I feel aunt noor about that situation and I feel that if I die my children from both sides would never talk to each other. Can you help?

Naser

Dear Naser,

Thanks for your question. Honestly, you are not the only father facing this situation. Unfortunately, a lot of men face the same problem with their kids from their different wives and I have seen a lot of children that don’t know their brothers or sisters from their father’s side.

In your situation, you need to do many things to help gather the family and for them to act as one family and not two.

First, you should be firm with your two wives to never mention the other in a bad way in front of the kids whatever happens. That may affect the relation between their kids .Also, when the children argue with each other, let them solve their problem in their way, while you all especially your wives stay away.

Secondly, you have to be very fair when dealing with the two homes. For example, the two wives should live in the same economic situation even if one of them has 10 kids and the other one has no kids.

Thirdly, there are many things which help the children get close to each other. For example, let them go to the same school so they can see each other in school.

Fourthly, which is really important, let them visit each other again and again and even let them sleep in the same house from time to time. Let them feel that they belong to both homes.

I think these things would help a lot to get them close to each other. I want you to be very serious about this, so you never regret in the future and your kids never feel that their dad harmed them because he decided to have two wives.

To ask Aunt Noor for her Advice , email her at noor@yemenpost.net